Ma's Alzheimer's

As she drifts into the night,
I wonder who she'll see.
Am I still the son she raised,
Or her husband long deceased?

As a child, she took me in
And raised me as her son.
Grandma was a Mom to me
When all was said and done.

When I was sick, she held me near,
And sang to me her song.
The words I can't recall today,
But they were all her own.

She taught me how to say a prayer
By praying hard for me.
She showed me God and taught me love
For all my family.

The time has come, it's my turn now
To sing and calm her fears.
To hold her hand and stroke her hair
To wipe away her tears.

She suffers from a dread disease
That's robbed her of her mind.
I pray for peace and hope someday
A cure for her I'll find.

She was there when I was young
Though it's escaped her now.
Things she said she'd not forget
The illness stole somehow.

Her husband, Frank; the life they lived;
Her older brother Lee.
All the places she has lived;
Then of course there's me.

Her husband's gone, her daughters too.
Her son can't stand the strain.
It's up to me and my wife now
To help her with her pain.

"I want to go home, it's warmer there,"
She tells us every day.
"Why can't someone come stay with me?"
We don't know what to say.

"What?" she yells to everyone.
"I can't hear too good today."
She thinks we're talking about her,
No matter what we say.

"Where's my cane? Where's my snuff?"
"Someone moved my thread."
"You don't really want me here."
"That's what someone said."

"I'm not wet and I don't smell."
"It has to be my clothes."
"Why do I need to take a bath?"
"I just took one, you know."

With trembling voice, late at night,
She calls out from her pain.
"Please don't leave me by myself,"
She pleads time and again.

It takes it's toll on all of us
To watch her everyday.
To help her dress, to help her eat
To try and make her bathe.

Some days I curse the way she is.
It's just so hard to bear.
I yell at her and then feel bad
Because we really care.

She gave me love, she showed me faith.
She taught me family ties.
As she was there for me in life
I'll be there when she dies.

She knows something is very wrong
But not the what or whys.
She prays to Jesus constantly.
And late at night she cries.

Things now are bad, but what we fear
Is what may lay ahead.
The terror of Grandma losing her mind
Before her body's dead.

The Alzheimer's has changed Grandma
From who she used to be.
But God please calm her fears tonight
And take her soon with Thee.
------------
for Delcia Merkley Adams
God took Ma home on August 12, 2002