Friday, April 14, 2006

A Little Personal History

As a Christian, it was the "I believe!" and "I know!" stuff that hamstrung me for years -- because I was painfully aware that I didn't really believe that much and knew even less. It was tough for someone who had grown up in a tight, fundamental Christian environment. And then, I began studies to become a biologist (zoologist). Whoa!

I felt I had to just accept the fact that I was destined to be what I called a "nervous agnostic" and quit trying to believe things that were unbelievable. But I never lost the desire for the goodness that Christ represented to me.

Eventually, with the help of understanding what the words "know", "believe", and "faith" really meant, I figured out that I didn't have to "know" or even "believe" anything. That -- and realizing 98.6% of religion was simply traditions of men -- was an epiphany for me. (Studying ethology helped to nail down the "traditions of men" thing.)

I could then judge the worth of "Christian" things by their merit without so much fear that I was some kind of failure because of my lack of knowledge or belief. I could then accept Christ because I chose to based upon my hopes and desires, not because I was compelled by knowledge, belief or fear.

And you know something? I think that's all anyone can do -- which makes me think it's the way the Creator intended things to be.

(By the way, the "Christ" I accept is the same one my great-great-great-great Cherokee grandfather accepted. You know, that Great Spirit that my old grandfather had never heard called by the name, "Jesus".)

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